lack of experience in life
Saturday, May 1, 2010
it means i lead a mundane life.
Im already 21 now and i can say i pretty much havent experience anything that is worth to tell.
i haven't been to most place and yes throughout my life ive been living in singapore and spent most of my time at home. Even though few days before my 21st i went to jakarta but that was it.
Nothing before or after that. Everyday is the same old routine even weekends don't have a different feel to it. Im almost always flat broke and i pretend to be someone else sometimes as if i have alot money in my red cardholder that i called wallet. Even my nets has no value in it only 3 bucks or less i guess.
I'm stuck in this life.
I sure can change it. i can work parttime and have money to enjoy but even now my grades are not that good. i bet if i start wrk it be worst.
Yes, i do think that i will only have a bunch of friends only if i have money. Money goes round and roung there is no one who want to hang out with you and talk and share a bottle of drinks and chips anymore. they wana go to restraunts and go clubbing and roam ard endlessly in their cars or watch movie endlessly and sing their hearts out or buy lots of stuff that will only be worn once by them or not worn at all.
When your 21 everything that revolves ard you and your frens are money. nothing else. That where they find enjoyment with eachother. If you dun have it den your loss they dont care. I'm just left to envy these ppl in my fb, some ppl younger than me have experince more than i have. i feel ashamed and embarress at times.
im left struggling to fit in but i know i wont and i never will. Im already too far off from where they are now. I long for pure enjoyment and simple pleasures in life. Never will i have that well maybe not now. i keep searching for happiness, priceless happiness that i can indulge in and think of everytime someting bring me down. Well, i guess i will still be searching for it.
i think i turn 21 too fast. I will keep telling myself im still young. yes i am.
you know i lost touch with almost everyone who was present in my life before.
xoxo? no more
redsummer~ being under the weather makes u sick in the mind. lolLabels: lack of experience
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